Broken mind
by The Green Huntress 109
Summary: Gabriel didn't die in Hammer of the gods, but was captured and tortured for the pleasure of it. Now he is in the care of Sam. But what is Sam to do with a broken archangel? And where the hell is Dean? Meanwhile Cas deals with his fading stolen grace. set season 9ish AU.
1. Scream

**Trigger warning: Sexual, mental and emotional abuse. Don't read if you don't like these themes.**

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><p>"What's the matter?" A male demon sneered "Demon got your tongue?" he laughed.<br>The half naked archangel covered his head with a blood soaked wing. "Ah,ah,ah." The demon tutted and shoved an angel blade threateningly through the rusty bars. Sigils had been painted in blood to prevent him from flying away. Some blood had been from him and some from other angels that he dare not think of.

He had been told he was not the first and Gabriel had tried the first day to strangle the demon. That had ended in his night in the dark room, called so because it was pitch dark and no sound could get in or out. Sometimes Gabriel would think things were crawling over him, eating at him, scratching at the walls and tormenting him until he begged to be let out. Of course no one ever came.

The angel flinched and slowly withdrew his wings. "That's better, Gabriel." he cooed almost lovingly. "Now bend over on all fours. We're gunna have some fun." The demon grinned as he unzipped his fly.  
>Gabriel shook knowing what their 'fun' meant.<p>

Pain

torture.

Gabriel did as he was told. The last time he disobeyed his wing had been carefully sliced. Not enough so he couldn't use it, but enough that it left scar tissue and a reminder that they could cut them off. And with his own blade no less. That had to be the worst, that it was by his own weapon that was suppose to protect him.  
>Like his brothers were suppose to.<br>He wanted to cry at the memory of searing flesh splitting to make way for the blade. The feel of his blood as it oozed like a red river in it's wake.

"keep still." the demon hissed as it slid Gabriel's strip of cloth down around his ankles. The only thing he had that wouldn't mean he was completely naked, It was the tatty remnants of his boxers.  
>Gabriel hadn't realised he was shaking so badly and tried to steady himself as well as his breathing, which was short huffs of pained breath. He brought his dirty wings to shield his tear stained face from the world and tried to think of anything except what was happening to him.<p>

"Get away from him." a weak female voice shouted. Gabriel removed his left wing to see who had spoken.

In the cage next to him sat a very frightened young angel. Her boyish black hair was stuck up in odd angles, she was obviously a new find because her clothes were hardly ripped. Her wing's also seemed un blemished by blood and other bodily fluids.

Her blue eyes held a ferocity but her frame shook, showing her fear.  
>"What did you say, bitch?" The angel looked at him in the eye.<br>"I said get away from him." she stood spreading out her bluish small wings that marked her as a cupid. Gabriel would have been impressed by the courage of this cupid, not may had that sort of courage. But that was when he was an all powerful archangel, now a days he felt nothing. Only pain.

The demon smirked at her "I'll deal with you later." he turned to leer at Gabriel "After I've had him." Gabriel whimpered pathetically and did his best not to think about the abuse from the demon behind him. Rough hands grabbed and pulled hoping for a noise or scream, but Gabriel stared brokenly at his weeping sister.  
>Her blue eyes watery and she tried to hid her face, tried to not break for her once great brother. Gabriel knew this, he also knew that her hope had been lost. Lost, dashed and stomped all over because if her powerful Archangel brother couldn't get out, then what chance did she have?<p>

Gabe felt stickiness slid down his thighs and knew it was over. For now at least.  
>"Good slut." the demon said letting go of the weary angel and letting him fall to the floor. Loud fear inspiring footsteps faded away, leaving Gabriel to lay crumpled and crying on his dirty, cold stone floor.<p>

"G...Gabriel?" the angel said "Brother, are you ok?" Gabriel nearly laughed. OK? OK? how could he have been ok after only father knows how long he's had this torture? But of course he stayed silent. Like a good little slut.  
>"I contacted Castiel before I was stuck down here. They know where we are, they'll be here any minuet." again Gabriel said nothing. He was tired of empty promises and nothing but pain, he just wanted to die. On this stinking floor surrounded by dead rats, blood and other fluids he didn't want to name. "I'm Amiel." she was met with silence "You can call me Amy if you want. I was sent to see if you were still alive, see we felt your grace a couple days ago but weren't sure if it was your's..."<br>Gabriel had stopped listening, deciding to tune her out and her false hope. No one was coming for him, no one ever did.

There was a scuffle in the corridors and footsteps, so Gabriel closed his eyes tight an crawled into a ball. Hopefully if he could make himself small enough he would not be noticed. He pulled his wings in, if they didn't see his wings they might think him a human and leave him alone to die in this stinking mess. This was all Lucifer's doing.

After Gabriel faked his death he appeared out side the hotel ready to announce to the Winchester's that he was in fact alive and kicking. Unfortunately Lucifer had found out his game plan, or it could have been that he knew Gabriel too well. Either way he was trapped in holy fire and two demons stood in front of him, "Looky what we got." the female demon sneered.  
>"Aww, but he's got his wings Pam. Our lord won't like it." the male demon moaned and both he and Pam looked at each other with an evil smirk.<br>"Well, Rich. Looks like we'll have to bind him." Of course Gabriel had scoffed and jabbed back.  
>"Is this all Luci could scrap up? I'm insulted." Gabriel smirked. Both Demon's had grinned unsettling and raised a hot poker covered in holy oil and in the shape of a sigil that would bind his powers.<p>

Gabriel whimpered at the memory of the burning pain as his hand unconsciously traced the burnt on on his left arm.  
>A hand grabbed his arm and he flinched. This was shortly accompanied by a scream, he was back. He was back and would want to further abuse him and humiliate him.<p>

"Brother." Gabriel heard the person ask, but it wasn't the demon's harsh voice. it was gruff yes but it was safe.  
>Safe.<br>A word he had forgotten he knew.

Slowly he raised his head and let out another cry. Not of pain or fear, but of relief.  
>"Castiel." he croaked at the blue eyes angel. His brother. His savior.<br>Cas's eyes opened wide "Gabriel?" he asked and Gabriel knew why he possibly didn't recognise him. Recently his grace had locked it's self away meaning he was basically human. Because of this he had lost a considerable amount of weight, but the worst thing was his eyes.  
>Gabriel had only seen his eyes once since being here and it was so he knew how far he had fallen, more mental games he was tired of playing, but they were dull and lifeless. No more glint of mischief or the fire of passion for life lit them anymore.<p>

They say eyes are the windows to the soul, even though he has grace it still held true to him. He was empty and dead inside.  
>"Don't worry brother, I'll take you somewhere safe." Castiel said as he picked up the limp body of his brother.<p>

Gabriel held on to his brother as Castiel carried him to safety. He wondered why they weren't flying, but soon forgot when he was placed in a car and laid gently down in the backseat. So far he was safe.

Cas lay Gabriel carefully on the backseat; he didn't know how much damage had been wrought on Gabriel's small, pale body, and slid in to the front seat.  
>"Where we going?" Came a weak, raspy sound sleepy voice of Gabriel. Cas winced at how raw his brothers voice sounded. Cas felt something slide down his cheeks, he lightly dabbed at his cheeks and came away with tears. His brother had been there for five years and he had not even bothered to find him, just accepting that Gabriel was dead and getting on with the apocalypse.<br>Cas' shoulders shook with silent tears. Obviously he wasn't as silent as he thought "M'ok." Gabriel slurred. Cas glanced back at Gabriel to see him fall asleep.

xxx

Sam blinked. The block of text on his laptop blurred and swam as two nights of researching took it's toll. It didn't matter how much he looked, Dean was still evading him and wreaking havoc as a demon.  
>With Dean gone he found the bunker uncomfortably silent. Each time Sam awoke he expected to be met with with Dean singing loudly, but only the emptiness stretched out in front of him like a dark tunnel with no end.<p>

He needed his brother. Sam had lost everyone; Jess, Dad, Mom...Gabe. Sam tried not to think about the Archangel he had once hated. He knew now what Gabriel was trying to warn them of and his sacrifice had softened Sam's heart. Sam even thought of him as a part of team free will.

'Knock, knock'. Sam looked up from the laptop frowning at the door. 'knock, knock,knock'. the knocking sounded more urgent this time and closing his laptop Sam stood from the table. He moved cautiously as he opened the door and was ready to attack.  
>Sam opened the door to find a figure holding a body in his arms standing out against the dark december night. "Cas?" Sam asked and the angel nods shaking the rain out of his eyes. The form was cover in Cas' trench coat so Sam couldn't make out who it was.<br>The chilly night air pricked at Sam's skin as Cas hurried past him and placed the bundle on the couch. "I'm sorry to drop in, but..." Cas said looking down as he uncovered the face of the bundle.

Sam's heart stopped.

He stared at Cas and the angel stood protectively in front of his elder brother, Gabriel, the fricken archangel.  
>The dead archangel!<br>He was dead. But obviously he wasn't, he was laying there sleeping with a pain filled expression and breathing heavily.  
>"I know he has hurt you." Cas said evenly "but he is in need of help. And he is my brother, please Sam." Cas cranked up the puppy eyes to a whole new level "Help him."<p>

Sam sighed "Of course I'll help him, but why bring him to me? why not your angel friends?" Sam asked not being able to take his eyes off the ,seemingly frail, archangel. Gabriel looked so pale as if he hadn't seen the sun in years and his once neatly kept dirty blond hair was now greasy and curled under his chin.  
>Cas sighed "Our siblings have not yet forgiven him yet. Some believe it his fault that we are fallen because he ran away." Cas said looking sadly at Gabriel "I'm afraid they might...hurt him." the silent 'kill' wrung out like a gong. He picked up Gabriel's wrist delicately and Sam could see a sigil burned into the pale flesh like a brand.<br>"This stops him from accessing him angelic abilities." Cas said sadly.  
>Sam took the wrist in his hand and examined the burn.<p>

Suddenly Gabriel's eyes flew open wide and terrified. He let out a scream, tugging at the limb enclosed in Sam's large hand. Sam let go in surprise and Gabriel fell backwards off the couch and on to the floor; scrambling behind Cas' legs.  
>"Shh, brother. It's only Sam." Cas soothed. And Gabriel whispered something to him. Cas' eyebrows drew together "Why would you be afraid of Sam?" Gabriel looked past Cas' legs to look at said hunter and whimpered.<br>Sam thought it would be a good idea to stay a good distance away from the now human Archangel. "I won't hurt you. I promise." Sam said giving Gabe his most trusting face.

Gabriel gave him a blank look "That's what Lucifer said."  
>The hunter felt a chill go down his back, so this was Lucifer's doing? "Gabe?" Gabriel blinked and looked at him still hiding behind Cas' legs. "Where were you? What happened?"<br>Gabriel curled in on himself with a whimper. Cas bent down to be at eye level with his brother. Before he could get a word out he had his arms full of a crying archangel. Sam made to come closer but Cas shook his head "Is there somewhere he can rest?"  
>Sam nodded and showed them to a guest room.<p>

Cas closed the door behind them as they exited what was now Gabriel's room. "What happened?" Sam whispered, hoping he wouldn't wake Gabriel. Cas gave him what Dean would have called a smiting look. "He has not been dead for the last six years." Cas said and Sam suppressed a 'no kidding'. Cas pulled him to the living room and told him all he had pieced together and the stat he found Gabriel in. Cas had tried to patch Gabe up the best he could and then came to the bunker.

Sam took a deep breath "So they..." he couldn't finish the sentence, how could Gabriel have lived through that? And it was all thanks to his own brother. He felt his protective side shake like a beast raised from slumber.  
>Cas nodded sadly "Sam, I'm not quite sure where he is mentally. When he has talked to me it was almost child like." He shook his head "I could stay for a week but then I have to go." he said regretfully. Sam nodded and soon their attention was caught by a high pitched shriek.<p>

xxx

Gabriel had awoken to pitch darkness and immediately fear had pushed up and out of his throat in one long scream that hurt even his ears. His mind had screamed at being put in the dark room again where the darkness could taunt him with the empty loneliness of his life. 'No one loves you, no one cares' echoed the demon's voice in Gabriel's head.  
>He pressed himself into what he thought was a corner, curling into a ball to protect himself from what ever cruel game came next.<p>

Footsteps caused his body to shake as they grew closer. 'two sets' he thought 'there aren't normally two'.

Light flooded his eyes causing him to flinch. Arms encircled him in a warm embrace but his body did not catch what his mind had, he saw Castiel on one side speaking rapid fire enochian trying to sooth him and on the other Sam. Sam was trying to stop him from hurting them or himself with a few soft words that got drowned out by Gabriel's continuous scream. Gabriel hit out like a wild animal, and in some sense he was, his mind had that fight or flight instinct and his flight path had been blocked off by the two men.

"Shh. Gabe, It's me." arms encircled him, warm and comforting. He tried to push against Sam, crying all the while; images of hands pulling and breaking his fragile body as well as his mind until he was nothing but a mess. "Your here brother not there."  
>Gabriel paused.<br>His brother. Lucifer!  
>Gabriel tried fighting more until his face was forced to look at another face. Bug hazel eyes stared imploring at him, framed by brown hair he had a feeling wasn't that long before. "Your safe. Your with me and Cas."<br>Sam? It was Sam, he came for him. Wait, no Cas did, Cas had said. He said...he said.  
>"Gabriel. I'm here." Gabriel's struggles slowed as his mind caught up with him, the terrible screach ending in almost choked sob. Slowly his hand reached to rest on Sam's face, he couldn't believe that Sam was here. The real Sam. The tears slowed and stopped "Sam?" Gabriel asked shaky and unsure. Sam only nodded his head and Gabriel fell into a fit of laughter. Gabriel could barley make out Cas' face contort into a frown, probably wondering what was so funny and Sam just hugged him tighter. Gabriel's laughter ended in small sobs that racked his body and passed out in Sam's arms.<p> 


	2. chasing answers and a memory

When Gabriel awoke the next day the door was wide open and a lamp was placed upon a bedside table. He had no memory of what happened before and barley even registered when Cas had taken him away. Gabriel looked down to see his rag gone and in it's place was a pair of jeans rolled up at the bottom so he didn't trip on it and a oversized T-shirt that fell to his knees.

Gabriel sniffed the air as the sweet smell of pancakes made his stomach almost digest itself. Gabriel couldn't remember the last time he ate, so raising from the bed he followed the smell warily. He made his way through the corridors keeping close to the wall like a scared spider, making himself as small as possible when he saw the light coming from what he assumed was the kitchen. To him the warmth felt foreign after so many years being in the damp and cold, Gabriel shied away but the promise of food drove him to sneak a peak around the door frame.  
>It seemed his attempt to go unnoticed had failed when Sam turned to place another pancake on a huge stack. Cas had been eating... wait, Cas was eating? Gabe's mind although supplying him with the observation wouldn't let him analyse when there was food he now needed. Gabe stared longingly at the pile of pancakes smothered in syrup just the way he liked it, mouth watering and stomach growling he couldn't look away. That was until he saw the face smiling behind the promising food, "Hey, you're up."<p>

Gabriel's heart hammered in his chest as fear coursed through him and his eyed widened in fear that he would be punished for leaving the room. Quickly he ducked around the door frame again. His hands clutched at his chest trying to get breath into his lungs "Brother. Brother it's ok." Cas said as he cautiously walked around the door. Gabriel's hand reached out to pull Cas to him still struggling for breath, "Calm down Gabriel. Breath slowly, in through your nose out through your mouth."  
>Gabe nodded frantically trying to do as Cas said "Is he ok?" Sam asked keeping his distance, which Gabriel was thankful for. Gabriel began to control the breath trying to escape his body and gave a weak nod, "He is ok for now." Cas said still staring at his elder brother with concern.<br>Suddenly Gabriel's stomach rumbled.  
>"Maybe you should eat something." Cas suggested with a small smile "Sam made you pancakes with lots of syrup, just the way you like it." Sam gave a smile, but Gabriel didn't say anything. He just let Cas pull him to the table and sit him on a wooden chair in front of a plate full of pancakes he assumed was for him.<br>Sam went to sit next to Gabriel but seeing the man flich went to sit on the other side of the table. Instantly Gabriel felt bad, here he was in Sam's home eating his food and using his bed. But it seemed Sam understood and didn't press the issue, of that Gabriel was greatful. Cas sat next to the broken archangel on his left side and Gabriel's left arm latched on to Cas' right hand sleeve. Cas said nothing.

"Hope you like the pancakes, it's been a while since I last made then." Sam said softly so as not to trigger another attack. Cas gave a small chuckle .  
>"Yes, he burnt the first few." Gabriel stayed quietly watching Sam expectantly. Cas continued to eat his abandoned food as did Sam, but Gabriel wouldn't stop looking at him. It took Sam awhile to realise he was waiting for permission. "Uh...Gabe." Gabriel lowered his eyes in submission ""You can...uh..you can eat you know."<br>Gabriel whispered a small thank you and proceeded to shove mouthful after mouthful at top speed in to his mouth.  
>The sweet intoxicating syrupy substance mixed with the plain pancake burst on his tongue, like a waterfall of life it filled the whole gnawing in his stomach. How humans could do this he didn't know, but that didn't matter when his body was swimming in the bliss of warmth where the pit had been. He reached for his cup and drank like a man who'd been lost in a desert. It didn't matter that the brown liquid inside was steaming hot, it still quenched the fire burning his throat. Once done he went back to the pancakes, forgetting to use the fork in his hast, golden stickiness coated his hands.<br>Faintly he heard a "Brother please, stop before you hurt yourself." but he ignored it.

Suddenly a hand touched his wrist...

Gabe leapt back, chair falling and head hitting the floor. But the pain in his skull didn't stop him from scrambling away until his back hit a wall. Gabriel's fingers grabbed on to his hair causing the sticky syrup to glue his already greasy and matted hair, and he shielded his face with his forearms. "Please, I'm sorry, I'll be good." he chanted in a whisper.  
>Warm gentile hands encircled his wrists and pulled them slowly away, Gabriel tensed but let his hands be pulled down. He looked up in to the smiling face of Sam "It's ok Gabriel. You are good, I was being stupid." Gabriel stared up at him, mouth moving to form Sam's name silently. "I'm sorry."<br>Gabriel stopped and frowned, but seemed to have calmed considerably. Sam looks at Cas "He needs a shower, could you help him?" Cas nodded and took Gabriel's hand.

While Gabriel is in the shower Sam went to find clothes that fit the ex-archangel. He found some of Dean's clothes and tried to ignore the sad feeling rising in his chest at the reminder Dean was gone. He busied himself getting boxers, a brush and one of Dean's old cargo jackets knowing how he loved the damn things. Sam left the things on Gabriel's bed and left to clean up their plates.  
>As he washed the dishes by hand he couldn't help wondering about Gabriel. What had they done to him to break him so badly, to make such a powerful, snarky archangel turn to a crying heap on the floor? Sam wasn't stupid and knew what some of those stains on his body and in his hair was. It made him sick to think of Gabriel begging and trying to be good just so they wouldn't hurt him. From the reaction Gabriel had from being in the same room as Sam, they must have used his image to torture him.<p>

Sam felt anger rise at the thought of a double of himself hurting Gabriel, his hand tightened and the plate nearly cracked until he put it on the draining board.  
>Suddenly the sound of humming caught his attention. Turning he followed the melancholy melody to the couch where he found cas sat on it, Gabriel in-between his legs humming as his wet hair was brushed. Every time Cas brought the brush down the crown of Gabriel's head he would push his head more into in and smile.<br>Sam marvelled at the site as Gabriel started to almost purr, and Goddamnit he did not think that was cute...he didn't!  
>Cas glanced up at him "It calms him." he said smiling "It's also a trust building exercise, would you like to try?" He held the brush out to him pulling a whine from Gabriel at the loss of contact. Sam nodded taking the brush.<p>

Gabriel tensed when Castiel's weight was swapped out for Sam and he whimpered. "Shh, It's ok Gabe. It's only me." Sam whispered lightly brushing his hair. After a few strokes Gabriel was pushing in to the strokes but the tension in his shoulder didn't relax, neither did he start up his humming again.

But Sam counted it as a win.

xxx

Three days since Gabriel had been rescued and four more until Cas had to leave. Sam didn't know how Gabe would react to not having Cas around anymore, Cas had left a couple of times since his stay and Gabe had been stiff, tense. Cas had to sleep in Gabe's room or Gabe would wake screaming and he always sought confirmation that he was allowed to eat before he did. For some odd reason he always waited for Sam's ok instead of Cas. So here they were in the library; Sam researching while Gabe and Cas sat near the fire reading.  
>Cas looked up from his book and sighed. Closing it he looked apologetically at Gabriel "Forgive me brother, I am needed." Gabe just nodded holding up his book as if to say 'I'm occupied' and Cas smiled. Cas walked out of the library and as he passed Sam told him he'd be back soon. Sam nodded absently at him while flicking through an old journal from the men of letters archive. Sam was so engrossed in his researching he didn't hear Gabe's chair scrap against the floor to move closer to him.<p>

But despite that the hunter still felt his presence and looked up to find Gabe looking at him, but as soon as Sam's eyes fell on his Gabe had turned his gaze to the ground. He had been getting better at being in Sam's presence but still seemed to shrink into himself or turn away if Sam looked at him in the eye.  
>From the first day Cas had brought the broken Archangel to him and Gabe had screamed when Sam touched him, he knew they did something to him to make Gabe scared of Sam. It had nagged at him.<p>

Even now it poked at his mind until Sam put down his book with a sigh and looked at Gabriel. Gabriel looked at him for a spilt second before his eyes fell to the floor. "Gabe?" Sam said watching the Archangel fidget "What happened? Why are you afraid of me?"  
>Gabriel shifted away and frowned at the floor as if debating weather to say anything; Gabe hadn't said much since the first two days and Sam could feel his heart break for a creature that thrived on making chaos and talking non-stop. Gabe swallowed, opened his mouth as if to say something then shut it again.<br>Sam knew he had to be patient with him, had to take things slow.

Gabe's hand went to the burned in sigil and traced it as he often did when nervous; the sigil could only be burned off and Sam didn't want to stress Gabriel out any more then he already had, they would find another way.  
>Finally Gabe glanced back up to him, his voice almost a whisper when his throat worked enough to get sound out "They pretended to be you."<br>Sam couldn't fathom why they would do that, "Why would they pretend to be me and Dean?" it just didn't make sense.  
>Gabriel gave him a look that he then hid upon realising it; these were rare moments his old self shone through and left Sam wonder if he was faking it, but the screams at night and the way he shook when someone was too close soon dispersed those suspicions. But Sam's confusion cleared from that look "It was just me wasn't it?"<p>

Gabriel immediately stood, holding his book against his chest as he turned and fled out of the library.  
>Sam needed answers and to make sure Gabe was ok, so he to sprang from his chair and after Gabriel. He saw the look of absolute terror when Gabe glanced back to see how far Sam was to him, Sam reached out "Gabe, wait."<br>Gabriel fell to the floor, book thrown at Sam and missing his mark, Gabe's shaking arms pushed him up as he scrambled to his room and locked the door.  
>Sam had been distracted by the flying book at his head and had slowed enough that it allowed Gabe to get away. Damnit! He'd screwed up, he shouldn't have chased him. Gabe obviously didn't want to talk about it and Sam should have left it.<p>

Sam lent his head against the door "Gabe." he whispered "Gabe I'm sorry." he was met with silence. Sam sighed and banged his head lightly against the door "I'll be in the library if you need me."

But Sam doubted he would.


End file.
